A lot of experiences are universal. Simply put, you are not the first to go through an experience, either good or bad, and you won’t be the last person. More than we even admit, humans have a lot of experiences in common. However, it is very easy for us to forget that fact as we go through life. Our focus remains on our personal needs and troubles, which we excessively personalize forgetting that we are not alone.
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There are ways we can establish more connection with other individuals and it all boils down to asking ourselves some basic questions.
- Begin By Asking Yourself If You Are Holding Back
There are times when the painful experiences we have been through in the past stops us from opening up to other people. Most times, the reason for that decision is that we do not want to go back to a consideration of our personal history. However, one should bear in mind that a person who heals others is also helping himself heal. This could be done by opening your home up to someone who has recently gone through a situation you have also experienced and you overcame in the past.
While the doctors might be able to give the medical rationale for some occurrences, it is the human connection that helps the soul move on. No other person can connect with you more than someone that has gone through the same experience. This is also a good way to admit that you have been hurt in the past and have gotten over it, i.e. helping someone who is currently going through the pain.
- Ask Yourself If You Are The First To Go Through That Experience
When sadness, fear and disappointment sets in as a result of a situation you are going through, for example, a looming divorce, loss of a job or any other devastating experience, you need to actually ask yourself if you are the first person who has gone through that. This usually helps in reaching an awakening.
A deep reflection would help you realize you are not the first to have such an experience, and you are definitely not the last person who will. It makes you feel a bit sober, both physically and emotionally. It helps you stop beating up yourself and resolute to move on. The change will not come overnight, however that single realization is one that will definitely divert the course of your thoughts from self-pity and sadness to a more hopeful feeling. It helps you feel stronger and that’s what you need to progress. The thought that there are other persons who have been where you are and survived the situation is very lifting.
- Try To Notice Similar Emotions And Not Identical Circumstances
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Finding someone who is in the exact circumstance or situation you find yourself might not be possible. That is to say, no two situations can be exactly alike and there is no point to go looking for that. If you are in a particular kind of financial crisis, for instance, you might not meet someone else who is in that exact situation. However, you should be able to notice another person who is having a similar financial situation. This still gives you a form of right to say you have been there. That is, although not the same circumstances, you have also felt what the person is currently feeling.
These three inquiries can have far-reaching effects. It can take different forms of expression, such as you sharing helpful advice with that person, trying to share a mood-lightening joke if you notice someone else is in an uncomfortable situation or even volunteering a seat to someone who appears to need it more than you because of some certain reasons you are familiar with. It is a simple way of lending a hand to another, giving a person knowing nod and making the person feel that he or she is not alone in that situation.
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